“That’s So Gay”
Three words that haunted every single member of a panel of GLBTQ students from across Alberta who presented on their school experiences at the Alberta School Board Association this week.
The panel included Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Two-Spirited and Queer youth who shared stories that were at times horrifying and at times inspiring. Common experiences of the panelists indicated that the Junior High (Middle School) years were the most difficult and hellish of all, and that Gay Straight Alliance clubs helped make their High School experiences exponentially better.
Many of the panelists had been made to change in separate bathrooms from their peers, told to “act straight” by school administrators, and experienced ongoing harassment from their peers that was blatantly ignored and sometimes engaged in by the adults they had thought would protect them; their educators.
One of the panelists shared a story of walking down the hall while one of her bullies followed close behind her, loudly threatening her and telling her he “could make her straight.” She said the world seemed to go into slow motion as she looked up and saw that just feet away, her teacher watched. “And he did nothing. He didn’t even care.”
She acknowledged that she lives in a world where a lot of people wish that she simply didn’t exist, and that in a number of countries she could be killed for who she dates. She said that she is tired of hearing homophobic slang, tired of hearing her teachers go on homophobic rants, and above all, tired of her school telling her that everyone has a right to safety but her.
Another panelist had reached the end of his rope and made the big decision to report his bullying to his school’s principal… And was subsequently asked to walk unsupervised with the bully to the office. After a discussion with the principal the panelist was made to apologize to his bully “for making a big deal” out of the bully’s homophobic comments.
Other panelists acknowledged a variety of teachers and administrators that without whom they said they would not have made it through the hardest years. One said that his Vice Principal gave him her personal email address and encouraged him to “shoot her an email” anytime. Another panelist fought very hard to get into a high school specifically known for it’s support of GLBTQ students, and another said his French teacher used a “Safe Spaces” poster to identify her classroom as safe for GLBTQ youth. Another was inspired after reading a news article on Edmonton Public School’s effort to have a stand alone policy specifically to end homophobic bullying.
Every member of the panel said that having a Gay Straight Alliance (GSAs) in their school improved their school experience. The focus of the groups is to improve conditions for GLBTQ youth right now and for those coming after. They identified the clubs as providing a safe space for all marginalized students, and a venue for them to be there for younger students and those without as many social supports. The panelists spoke of supporting peers who had been rejected by their parents, who were being bullied, and even helping suicidal peers make it another day.
Unanimously, the panelists felt that teachers, administration and school boards should help by ending the silence around sexual and gender minority issues and addressing homophobic bullying directly. They also felt that age-appropriate, non-judgmental comprehensive sex education would help to reduce stigma and give youth relevant information that would promote sexual health.
When Educators ignore homophobic slang and bullying, they send a clear message to students that it is acceptable behaviour. They also send the message to our sexual and gender minority students that they are “throw away” children. When suicide is the leading cause of death among GLBTQ youth are those messages we can afford to send?
